I’m in Airizona right now. It’s a long ways from home, and it’s alot different as well. The weather is hot. To hot for me. It’s going to be like 80 or something crazy like that today. I guess it’s not all tha bad though, there isn’t the humidity to contend with so it’s more of a dry heat. If there was humidity I would have something else to say. That was my biggest complaint about living in TN, that and the backwardness of everything there. On Monday I got a chance to visit Luke AFB, I needed to get some stuff from the Military Clothing shop and it seemed like a good as time as any. I got a new light weight jacket for my blues, and some PT clothes. I also got some challenge coins, and AF one and then a base one, they booth look pretty dang spiffy. Then Tuesday and yeasterday we drove like six hours up to look at the Grand Canyon. It’s a really beautiful place, but it starts to look the same after looking at it for two days. I’m not complainin’ though, we got to walk around. This whole vacation thing has totally messed up my running and weight routine… :/

Anyways. I got a new CD Monday. Dreamer… by Haste The Day. They have a new screamer, and it’s pretty different from their first CD. But good. The music has gotten alot better, at least I think. There is much more skill in the guitar and drumms. So it was nice to be able to plug that in on my iPod and listen to it durring hte drive. That and a good book will always keep me occupied. I’ve got alot of new pictures, I’ll have to be putting them up on face book at sometime.

Anyways. I’m kind of sick at the moment. I hate it. I always get sick on vacations. It’s totally not cool at all. My nose is all plugged up. My head hurts. So does my throat. Yeah. It kind of totally blows. But what ever. There isn’t much that I can do about it. Kind of like there isn’t a whole lot we can do about alot of stuff in life. Just have to get over it and move on with things. I guess that’s the hardest part of it all. Letting go. There’s a song by Kids In The Way and it goes something like, “Letting go is the hardest part of loving you.” I don’t know if I think that’s true. But it ilistrates an important part of life… letting go is hard. There is now way around it. It just is.

The song I’m listening to has an interesting line in it. “What is it to fallow? What is it to lead?” I find that a good question to ask ones self. Sometimes I think that we are all focused on getting the most out of everything. Being the top dog. But that’s not how we should be looking at things. If we want to be the person on top. The boss. We must be the person that listens, fallows, and leads the people that are below us. I know that I have seen many so-called leaders that didn’t know a thing about leadership. It really makes me sick because now the people that they were supposedly leading are wanting to fallow in the awful leaders foot steps. It’s doesn’t work though. Because people don’t want to be under that type of leader. I know I didn’t. I know I wont let the people under me act like that to the people under them. I have been called to nice before. But I would rather be to nice than have everyone think that I rule with an iorn fist.

I guess that it’s time I say something about me. I don’t really know what’s going on with me right now. I havn’t talked to all that many people in a long time. I’m almost drawing in on myself. That’s prolly not the answere to anything. But it seems better than the alternatives. Sometimes I wonder why we even try at anything. I think one of the best lessons to learn in life is this. Everything is finite. Everything will end. Everything will go away. I don’t know that that makes it easier to live. But it sure makes it easier to die. Not that dieing is what needs to happen, But once you have realized that is going to happen, Or that your possesions will go away,Or friendships will die out, it makes it much more easier to accept it all. It wont make it hurt less. It wont make it easier. But it sure helps. I don’t know. I guess that’s my little insight of me for now.

Waiting for your call, I’m sick, call I’m angry
Call I’m desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It’s playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet