Thoughts From Max

So, I just did a weeks worth of Chemistry. I hate Chem, with an undying passion, actually, to be honest, I really hate science. It’s not that I’m bad at it or someting like that, I just find it extreamely borring. There’s so many other things that I would rather be doing; reading a good book, playing guitar, writing a paper, the list could really go on and on. But, school is school, even when it isn’t cool. That what a ryhme, did you get it? Right now, I’m listening ot music, which is probably no surprise to you in the least bit. I can’t say that I’m listening to the most positive or uplifting band out there, I think their name would give that away, Kill Hannah, but, I love their sound, it’s utterly amazing. Before I was listening to them though, I was listening to some uplifting and positive music. Sanctus Real, specifically, Don’t Give Up On Love. I really think that everyone on the face of this earth needs to go and take a listen to that song, it’s really real in the way that it deals with stuff. I mean, really. Go listen to it, right now.

I really don’t know what to talk about, my day yeasterday was kinda crappy  to be honest with you. I didn’t sleep at all Sunday night, so that just put Monday morning on the track for disaster. But, I got up, and did school, that wasn’t actually all that bad, besides the fact that I had to write an extreamely borring paper on Psychoanalysis. Then, I went to work, wich, was, for a change, good. My group of kids were really nice, they didn’t cry, they had smiles the whole time, and they were just having fun. After work, I took two free runs, they were nice. It was a little cold out, but it’s NH in wintertime, can’t really expect anything else. When I got home, I really didn’t do anything for a while, played a little bit of guitar hero, had dinner, then I started my drive down to Concord. While I was down there, I got a  nice shirt from Pac  Sun, it was 70% off. After that worship practice. That didn’t go so great at all, but we just have to work on it and move on. I really don’t think that there’s much else we can do with that one. Everyone was frustrated and it just didn’t flow at all. Oh, then I cam home, got on AIM and had a pretty intense conversation, that turned into something, funny. xD

At the moment, I just got done listening to an awesome song. “Swing Life Away” by Rise Against. It actually really spoke to me, not that that surprises me, but I thought I would throw it out there for you to know. The song is talking about how a persons life is just going away, he’s not really going any where, and he’s loosing all his friends, he’s got scars and people know it. I think we all can relate to this, we all have the things that just kinda take us down. But, I think the thing that we have to realize is that we don’t need to be kept down, we need to just keep going, and never give up. I don’t know if you can relate to that at all, but I think it’s something that we all need to hear every now and then. We shouldn’t just be sitting around waiting for something to be happening in our lives, we need to go out there and do something, every single one of us has a purpose for our life, even though we might not know it. I/you/we need to go out there, and find that meaning. If all we do is just sit around, one day we’re going to wake up and realize that we’ve done nothing and that it’s all going to be over soon.

So yeah, that was my slightly philiosophical thought of the day. I hope that you enjoyed it. I really only think that is what I’m going to post for the day. I’ve got nothing really going on today, just a day to relax, tomorrow we’re supposed to get a bunch of snow, we need it, the skiing is good, but last year was better, hopefully this will help us out. Have a good day.

Am I loud and clear or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, are we just getting more lost?

dense

dens·er, dens·est Having relatively high density. Crowded closely together; compact: a dense population. Permitting little light to pass through, because of compactness of matter: dense glass; a dense fog. Opaque, with good contrast between light and dark areas. Used of a photographic negative. Hard to penetrate; thick: a dense jungle. Permitting little light to pass through, because of compactness of matter: dense glass; a dense fog. Opaque, with good contrast between light and dark areas. Used of a photographic negative. Difficult to understand because of complexity or obscurity: a dense novel. Slow to apprehend; thickheaded.

So. I think. That this word pretty much describes life. I havn’t quite figured it out, but I’m getting there. Anyways. I’ve been told that I need  to update my blog. So, I, Max, am bringing you a wonderful new post from the life of me, Max. I hope you enjoy, and that you don’t find it all that borring. If it is, then well, get over yourself, I really don’t care. Well, maybe I do, but you won’t know that, will you?

Anyways. I really don’t know what I should be telling you. My life. It’s been okay, I don’t know that I would say it’s great. But I’m alive, and that’s what counts, right? Today, was an okay day. It was my brothers birthday, he turned 16. We’re a year, a week, and a day apart in age. We didn’t do anything all that special, or it wasn’t all that special to me, but it’s what he wanted to do. When we woke up we went to church and got some dunkin donuts on the way… after church we came home and then Tye, our dad, myself, and Sam went skiing. That was a good time, by the end I was so tired though, and cold. When we came home, I played guitar for quite a long time, like an hour or two, something like that. And then Sam, Sami, and Meghan came over. It was a fun time… We had dinner, or well, everyone but Meghan did. And we played guitar hero. Nothing like a good night hanging out with friends. I don’t think that it can be beat.

Yeasterday, Saturday, I didn’t do anything all that great. Well. Durring the morning and afternoon, I didn’t. I worked. Although, I had a good group of kids. No one was crying, and we weren’t even on the magic carpet, we were on the chair lift. After work, I went bowling with Tye, Sam, and Meghan. It was a good time, Sam could barely lift the bowling ball though, kinda pathetic really. After we were done bowling, we went to get some ice cream. It was good. I had this brownie sunday thingy… Sam and Tye had mint chocolate chip thingys… and Meghan had the cookies and cream one. We sat at Friendlys and talked for a good hour or so. Nice times right there.

I can’t say that I’ve been up to anything else of real signifigance. I got my Earhart award at CAP. It’s a big deal. I hate big deals. Next Saturday I have NCSA review boards, for those of you not in the know, that would be National Cadet Specail Activities.

I really don’t know what else to say. I’m not in much of a philiosopical mood tonight, so I’m just going to leave it at this. I’ll try to come up with something a little bit more meaning full to say tomarrow.

Mhmh. Good song. But that’s not what I’m going to write about, right now. Maybe I will at the end of the post, but I actually have a super dooper amazing piliosophical thought to share with you today. See. The Good Left Undone. It actually means something, as I think on it. How many times do you go through life, and decide that we don’t need to do something? Maybe it’s because someone else might do it. Or maybe it’s because we’re to tired to do it. Or maybe it’s because we’re just friggen lazy? Well. What if doing that one thing changed one persons life? What if by doing that one thing, someone would have a warm meal, or they would smile, or they would open up and talk to people, or heck maybe they would not end their life. I honestly don’t know where I got this uber duper amazing thought from. Maybe you don’t think it’s all that amazing of a thought at first, but really, think about it? When was the last time that you saw something that you could have done to help someone out, and you chose not to? What would it have done for that person? Maybe it would have been something really simple, but maybe it could have affected them for the rest of their life. All because of you. All because YOU decided that you would do something that would make someone stop, stop and see that life wasn’t all that crappy.

I think, sometimes, we go through life with a piss poor attidue thinking that we’ve got it the worst. Everyone else is just doing fine, and I(we) have it so friggen hard. I don’t have the cool new video game. I don’t have a girl friend. I don’t have a boy friend. I don’t have the nicest shoes. I won’t get a new dress for prom. I won’t be able to go out with my friends friday night. But, what about the people that don’t have clothing. What about the people that don’t have a home. What about the people that don’t have food. What about the people that don’t have any friends. What about the people that don’t have any shoes. What about the people that don’t go to school. What about the people that are living under a dictatorship. See, we live in this awesome amazing country, and we get to choose how we are going to live. But there are people in the world that can’t do that; they can’t go to church, they can’t go to school, they can’t have the job that they want to have. How bad can your life really be? I don’t think it can be that bad.

Those who make peacful revolution imposible, will make violent revolution inevitable.

- JFK

How is it that we think that we can just got about life and do nothing about the problems are out there. When we do nothing, we make it so that someone will have to do something. If you aren’t going to stand up for what you believe in, then just forget about having my respect. I don’t want there to be any wars or anything out there, but it’s a fact of life, and you know why? It’s because people didn’t take the time, they didn’t have the guts, and they didn’t care to do something about what needed to be done. So, next time you see something that needs to be done, do it. And next time you see someone that’s hurting, help, it might not mean anything to you. But it could mean the world to that person that you are taking the time to help.

Okay. So there. That’s my nice piliosophical post for the day. I really hope that it didn’t bore you to much. I’m kind of in limbo today, not really doing a whole lot. I got all my school for the week done early because I thought that I would be going to work today, but it’s to cold out so the cancled, oh well. I don’t have to do school today, so that’s a pluss, any way that you look at it. I played my guitar a little bit this morning. A song by Oh Sleep… umm, the song was… Rebuilding the Nations. It’s a good one, take a look at it. It’s pretty heavy. But that’s okay. What other songs did I paly… Umm. Oh. I didn’t play any more, I decided to read a little, so I put a CD on and sat there for a good hour. It was a nice time. I was listening to an Anberlin CD, “The Lost Songs”. If you havn’t heard that one, you need to. It has alot of really good music on it. Songs that aren’t on their other CD’s… acoustic stuff, re-makes of songs, and just some really awesome songs. The one that I think you really need to listen to off that CD is “Downtown Song”… it’s totally amazing. I lovers it. But I lovers alot of songs, so what does that tell you?

Anyways. Umm. What do I have planned for the rest of the day and weekend. Today. I shall prolly just hang out at home for the rest of the morning, sometime in the afternoon I want to go to the library… I got a notice saying the books that I have from there are overdue. Psh. W/e. Not my problem. They don’t even have late fees or anything. But, I will get some new books to read, maybe a movie or two. Then tonight, I have band practice at 6 and then youth group right after that. It should be a good time. My mom is makin’ cupcakes for everyone there since tomarrow is my birthday. So, that brings me into my description of what tomarrow will more than likely be like. I will wake up. Do nothing. Get ready. Go bowling, yeah, I think that will be fun, the youth group that I go to is going bowling, so I decided that I would rather do that than work. After that, I’ll come home, and like… 5 people are comming over. Three for sure. Sam. Sami. Meghan. It will be a good time hopefully. We’re going to have pizza and ice cream cake. I think that I’m going to open presents tomarrow night to. I  told them not to get be anything, but I guess that didn’t stop them. Sunday, I shall be working, and then I’m going out to dinner with Dr. Rich and Winne and my family.

So yeah. That’s my post for now. I think that this has been the longest one that I’ve written in a while That’s okay though. I hope you enjoyed reading it all. Till we meet again, adiue.
~Max

So. I have been told that I need to write a new post. It’s been a while since my last one, like what, a week? And for that I do appologize for that. I guess I also need to update my links, that’s going to take a bit more prodin’, I’m a tad bit lazy at the moment. I just got done eating lunch. I had a ham and egg sandwhich with some sour-cream and ongion patato chips, pretty high class meal right there, if I don’t say so myself. I actaully really need to go and get something to drink, but that can wait, since I’m bussy comming up with some way to entertain the people that take the time out of their day to read this thing. Today… I’m not really up to all that much; I was going to go to a concert, but it’s to far away… but it’s all good, other than that I really don’t have any plans. I’ll prolly end up trying to hang out with some friends or going to youth group, or something along those lines.

Yesterday was an okay day, I wouldn’t say that it was bad, but it wasnt’ like the most aweosme one either. I got up. Did my school, chemistry is a drag btw, history rocks, and guitar = love. After I got done with school, I had work. Icky. I had another kid that cried. But, her mom was around. So she got the kid to calm down, thank god. After we got done with work, Tye and I went down to Concord and we had band practice. It went pretty okay… it was a little rough to start with, but we got some good things happened! We’ll practice again friday night before youth group.

The weekend was all good. Saturday was good, I went down to an indoor track that’s down past Manchvegas. I ran a mile in 6:40… that’s pretty dang awesome, and I got the rest of my PT done for my next award in CAP, the Earhart. I’ll have the board of review on Thursday, so after that, I shall be a Captain! Go me. Sunday, well that was a day of work. In the morning I had a kid that cried. Not cool. But she left at lunch. Mucho cool. After lunch I had a kid that was awesome. He just liked to go slow. But that’s better than a crying kid any day of the week.

So there… I guess that’s an updaye on my life. Hope all is well with you. I’ll try and keep you all up to date a little bit better. Goodbye.

I see the sweat is dripping
That’s because you know just what I’m thinking
Don’t look back it’s me who follows
And there ain’t nothing from me you can borrow

You like to hide behind lies
But we see through your disguise
It’s not a threat or a curse
Just a proper verse

I’m gonna make you let go
Of what you tried to withhold
And I can promise it won’t be long
Yes I can promise

Boy, you better pray
We don’t seek you out, no
You better pray

You think the war is over
I’ve only shown you the tip of the iceberg
And you rely upon your lawyers
But at night when you sleep does it bother you?

You like to hide behind lies
But we see through your disguise
It’s not a threat or a curse
Just a proper verse

I’m gonna make you let go
Of what you tried to withhold
And I can promise it won’t be long
Yes I can promise

Boy, you better pray
We don’t seek you out, no
You better hope
We might lose control, no

Is this good enough for you man?

Boy, you better pray
We don’t seek you out, no
You better hope
We might lose control, no

So. Here I stand. Or sit, as it is. And I’m writing this on my new MacB00k. I’m pretty happy about this. Really. It’s nice. I got it from a person that I work with. For $600. That’s like a good deal. No lie. And my dad payed half. Thanks, btw. I don’t really know what I’m going to write about yet. I think that’s going to come as I write. Today, it wasn’t all that much of an eventful day. Besides getting the new laptop that is. One of my friends is writing in her blog reguarly… I’m so so happy about that… You should check it out. I think I have her linked… her name is Emily. (: Yeah. Just thought I would put that out there for the world to see.

I got a few new CD’s recently. The new All-American Rejects one… and the new We The Kings one. Well, the We The Kings CD isn’t new. But It’s new to me. So it works out. I’m pretty much in love with the AAR CD. And I’m also pretty much in love with the WTK one as well. Is that weird. I’m in love with two CD’s… I think that it’s pretty scandulous my self. But hey. It’s all good. It’s only music. So.. there can’t come much harm from it.

I was originally going to sit down and write this rant about the world. But I guess this is just not turning into that. I’m sorry to dissapoint if someone wanted to read a rant. But. Hey. I guess we all don’t get what we want. I think it’s funny how people always say, “well that’s not fair.” I mean. Serriously. Since when has life been fair, to anyone? Really.. when has it ever been like that? It sure hasn’t been like that for me, or for anyone that I know. So. Please. How about we not use that phrase anymore. Like. Really. Not use it at all. That would like make my day. If we could like agree to do that.

I’m kind of addicted to music at the moment. I don’t know when I havn’t been. But now seems like I’m listening to it all the time. And any kind of music at that. Like… really… I mean. I still don’t listen to rap all that much. But It comes up once in a while. Are any of you like that… like, you want to and need to listen to music all the time? I was having an argument the other day with a friend about weather or not songs can be pretty. I think that they can. Who is to say that they can’t be? Like. really. Haha. Maybe I’m taking this way to serriously. But I don’t think so. I think that songs are. And so there. Now you know my opinion on that matter.

Anyways. I think that I’m going to go for now. Maybe tomarrow or the next day I’ll have something reall to post. Not that this wasn’t real. But still. I think that you get what I mean. Bye.

~Max

That… it’s the opening line to a song, Someone Like you, by Safety Suit. That’s what I think I need right now a safety suit. I think that everyone needs one of those at some point in their life, or all of their life. What would happen if we all went through life on our own? What would happen if we closed ourselves of compleately to the world. How would we keep going? I think a life like that would be a very hard, and very lonely one. How could you do it? How could I do it? How could any one do it? I don’t think that any one is strong enough to do it on their own. I don’t think that any one can hold everything in on their own, forever. I don’t think that any one can just fake it for their whole lives. Maybe they don’t fake it. But I don’t think that anyone deserves to feel like hell all the time.  Maybe I’m being idealistic. Maybe I’m wrong. I don’t really know. But this is how I feel about this at the moment.

There’s another song… Headstrong, it’s by Trapt. It’s kind of ironic. The lyrics. “Headstrong, I’ll take you on. I’ll take anyone on.” It’s the compleat opposite. But the band name, Trapt. They are in a trap. A trap of being all alone. If we go through life with that attitude, what will we have accomplished besides pissing every one around us off? How would that feel like, instead of being lonely by choice, you’re lonely by your actions. Everything that we do affects people. It affects them in ways that we will never know, ways that we will never see. I think that we all need to step back and look at our lives. Look at how we live. Look at the things that we do. Look at the people we do those things to. Look at the way that they might be affected, for good, or for bad.

What are you living for? Is there something? Do you have a reason to live, do you have a reason to die? Why do you go about your day? Is it for money, is it for passion, is it for music, is it for something else? Maybe what we need is a real reason to live. Money, it goes away. Passion, it fades away. Music, the bands always go away. What is it that you want to be remembered for? Do you want to be the one that is rememberd for hurting people. Or do you want to be the one that people turn to when they feel down.

I don’t know if any of this made sense to any one that read it. I don’t know if anyone will read it for that matter. I hope though, that it will helpe someone out there. I appologize if this came off as a rant or something along that line… it really wasn’t intended to be that. I want you to all know that life… it’s temporary… one day it will all end. Make what you can of it. Don’t hold back.

Sugarcult – Memory.

This may never start.
We could fall apart.
And I’d be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart’s beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
I’ll tear us apart.
Can I be your enemy?
Losing half a year.
Waiting for you here
I’d be your anything.

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart’s beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
Tearing out my heart.
I’d be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
(I’d be your memory)
Feelings disappeared.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart’s beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
We could fall apart
And I’d be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?
Can I be your memory?

So. Today. New Years. That wonderful day when everyone makes all these stupid resolutions, and then they go about their lives forgetting all about them. What sence does that make? Not a whole lot, I’m thinking. But hey, who am I to say that people are dumb? Anyways, I thought that since it was NYs I would give you all a little update on the life of Max. Not a whole lot has changed. Still school. Still Youpromote. Still CAP. Still youth group. Still shooting. Still being busy. Isn’t that fun, being bussy that is. I think so. I guess the only thing that’s kind of not cool about it is the fact that my Christmas vacation really didn’t turn into a vacation, it ended up like more of a go work at gunstockcation. But that’s all good. I love working there. It’s so much fun. Working with all the little kids. And then all the other instructors that are like my age. It’s pretty dang sweet.

I’m listening to some music right now. Like, how is that different from all the other times in my life? It’s not. I just thought that I should let you know. Cuz’ I’m just cool like that. Chyea. You know it. I’m like some little gansta or something. Not really. But hey, I can dream. Can’t I?

So what’s going to happen this year? Hmm. Well I hope to be going off to some special activitys in the summer with CAP, which, I still need to go and sign up for. I’m lazy. I know. Also. I’ll be turning 17. Whoho. So big and exciting, right? Not really. Who cares about that sort of thing anyways? I’ve got like a wicked cool job at Gunstock. Hopefully get hired at YP.

Anyways. I guess I really don’t know why I was going to write this. OR what I was going to write about. So. I’m going to stop writing. Peace out.