So, today, I’m in a bit of an irritated mood, I don’t know why to be honest with you. Yesterday, wasn’t the greatest of days. My head was just going in to many directions, I couldn’t keep focused on one thing. When I was trying to do my school in the morning, I had to stop and write a song, just to get my head to like slow down enough for me to think clearly on my work. Right before dinner time, I got a headache right between my eyes, that wasn’t fun. Then I went to youth group at LRV, that was, awkward? They were going door to door inviting people to go to their Easter service. I don’t know why it felt awkward for me, I guess it’s because I don’t go their all that often. But that’s okay. It was a decent time none the less. I found out that I’m not going down to Jersey to see a friend, her mom won’t let her hang out. I’m rather disapointed about that, but there’s not much I can do.
I don’t know what’s going on with me today. I don’t know if the weather is getting to me, or what. I guess I’m kinda thinking of the Relient K song as I write this. Sometimes it’s funny to me how when the sun is out and it’s beautiful we do just fine. But when the sun goes away for a while, we seem to just get in this funk. I know it’s not just me too, it happens to other people. Maybe there’s a sybol in there that we should be picking up on. Maybe we need to be relying more on God to give us joy and happyness then the conditions of this world. I guess I find myself trying to find ways to be happy that really won’t make me happy in the long run. How is it that things that seem so good, can turn out to be so bad in the end?
One thing that I’ve been thinking of the last couple days is distance. To me it seems that a lot of my close friends live hundreds or thousands of miles away. Not that that should matter if I’m friends with them, but it gets old. I don’t know if that makes sense to you. But having a phone is no substitue for face to face interaction. I bet you would think that I’m the last person that would be saying this, but I guess I’m changing what I value. It’s funny as how you get older things that really didn’t mater to you before start to mater… ALOT. Maybe I’m being unrealistice. Maybe God has a point for me to learn. Maybe he is trying to get me to rely on him more. I just wish I could figure out what he’s telling me for sure so that I don’t have to keep playing this guessing game. Because this game is one that’s getting really old. It’s getting really old, really fast.
I wrote a song yesterday, I think I mentioned it at the begining of all this. I don’t really know why I wrote it. But the theme of it was that we all just need hope and peace to make it through the day. Do you find that all the anger, and stress, and just icky things seem to just pile up and drag you down more and more? I guess that’s what I was trying to get at. We just need to find a reason to smile. A reason to breathe. A way to have hope.
Well… that’s what I’m going to say to you today. I hope it ment something. Smile. For me, would you?
We were talking together
I said, “what’s up with this weather?”
Don’t know whether or not
How sad I just got
Was of my own volition.
Or if I’m just missing the sun
And tomorrow, I know,
Will be rainy at best.
And the forecast, I know,
Is that I’ll be depressed.
But I’ll wait outside
Hoping that I’ll catch sight of the sun.
